UP and OUT

So... My official last full time day is October 31 and my last part time day is November 14. Weird. It's like an era of my life is coming to an end. I know that as much as I would want to return to camp next summer I probably won't. There are a few things that would keep me from coming back...mostly having to do with me and nothing having to do with the camp itself.

IN other news I am looking at an apartment on Monday and talking with Cactus as well. I am also meeting up with a friend and hanging out after Sunday's Thanksgiving festivities.

Life seems like it is moving a mile a minute and at the same time moving as slow as molasses!
Have you ever wanted something so much that it hurts and then you basically get it and wonder if it's what you really want? Basically life is annoying. But we move on and we continue living because what else would we do. It is a pretty crazy adventure and I want to see what happens as painful or frustrating as it can be. Why is it that we are always trying to please everyone or maintain the status quo? I am so sick and tired of being the person that people expect me to be but at the same time know that if I am who I am then people would look at me so differently... they would say stupid cliches like "wow he really took a fall", or "I can't believe that happened to him, how could he do that?", or maybe "we really need to pray for him". Frankly, people can pray all they want but unless they know what is going on in my heart and in my head they have no idea what they are praying for. Let me tell you about it, and don't just judge by what you see because you have no right! Judge yourself first. Oh.. and while I'm on that... sharing my story should be a good thing but why is it that some people have decided that I shouldn't ... i'll tell you why... it's because they are afraid that i'll rock the boat, that I'll challenge the norms that hey are used to... that's why, they are afraid of what they don't know. Well to them I say get over yourselves and start opening your eyes around you and the truth of what people are really experiencing.. good people, people that love God, people that serve him ... we are all messed up people, life would be so much easier if we would all recognize, admit and live together towards wholeness! That's my peace today.