M first iMovie

Technology - it can be a necessary evil or a joy depending on how well you can adapt and learn.  Fortunately for me I have a number of friends that have helped me along the way as I have taken up the task of learning new things and how to use new formats of communication.

Yesterday, Brandon introduced me to the wonders of using iMovie on my mac.  Though my final product was relatively simplistic, I had great joy in the process of putting it together.  It's amazing what you can do with a computer and a brain.... ahah...

If you are interested in viewing my latest assignment (For Communications and Mass Media), check it out on youtube.  

www.youtube.com/watch?v=buV0B6tZNZ4

It's a Creative Commentary on Asian Men in Film and Television... done in a slide format with a music background... (yes I know that the credit for the song in the background is wrong... i changed it last minute and forgot to change the credit.)

Cheers...

Not created to for self esteem... created to have God-esteem... hmm that's something to think about.

Topsyturveydom

Never been more homesick than now....

You know on the outside everything looks pretty hunky dory with my life.  It's not.  Nothing is new, nothing has changed, I struggle as usual.  There are days that are amazing, and I feel on top of the world, and then there are days like today where I feel down and out.  There are one or two more changes in my life that I need to make, but am feeling as though I just can't make them.  I hate that.  Will those changes make life better?  or is that even the right question to be asking?  Is a better question, will those two changes make my life more "right".   In the eyes of some, absolutely, in the eyes of others absolutely not.  Which is right?  I am a lucky person, sometimes only by association, but lucky nonetheless, and yet tormented by my inner self.  The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.  How true!

Have you seen my new apartment? It's amazing!  Have you met my friends?  They are amazing!  I have a job...in this market that is amazing!  There are people that care deeply about me...that is amazing!  So what's wrong?  There is something.  or Is it just me?

Soul Struggle

"A reflection of you I long to be, so your kingdom I will seek, and I surrender to your throne..."

What does it mean to surrender?  I know what it means to be obedient.  But there is a vast difference between the two.  This is the lesson that I am learning right now.  I think in some ways it is easier to be obedient when you are first surrendered.  BUT...  how do I surrender all?

I met with a friend recently who noticed that there was a lack of passion in my life.  Why is that?  I have simply followed the logical path?  Or am I on a path that will lead to a passionate life?  I don't need to be happy, but I want to be able to say that there is passion.  My friend said that the light she has seen in me in the past was dim.  That hurts.  But, it's true.  Why?  Out of the past year, I am more on track with God, more involved in my church, more excited about church, and more purposeful in how I live life, but there is this lack of passion.  She also challenged me to really converse with God as to where he wants me to be.  I think it has been a long time since I really asked him where HE wants me to be.  I've attempted to follow him to where he wants me, but I have failed to ASK what he wants, and failed even greater at listening.

I am learning to let go of the will that I so long to control.  I struggle.

Confusing Times

I don't always understand the way God works, but I am beginning to realize that this doesn't matter.  I am a rash, hormonal, passionate person that really needs to take more time to reflect and review before making decisions.  This seems to be one of the greatest difficulties in my life.

I wish that my life looked perfect. BUT, knowing that I am human and that I am a sinful person dictates that it won't be.  I am to pursue righteousness and holiness, but I will screw up.  I am covered by the blood of Christ.  

This past week I have been reading in my personal time through the book of Matthew and in church we have been going through Ecclesiastes... it's amazing to me how God uses those times to direct and challenge me and how these times oddly connect together and enable me to have a greater perspective.  

This is a jumble of a blog post.... but it's my random thoughts of today.

Why is it... 

The most important relationship in my life is my life with Christ.

Then Why is it that I have neglected it the most throughout my life?

We know what's unhealthy for us in terms of diet, relationships, etc.

Then Why is it we subject ourselves to those unhealthy things anyways?

We say that money is not the most important thing.

Then Why is that when people ask us how we are doing we respond most often in regards to our financial situation (or some deviation of it)?

Random Rememberings...

It's a sunny Wednesday morning... and it's amazing up at SFU... whoever said that SFU is depressing doesn't know what they are talking about!

But this is not the reason for my post.  

Last night I was involved in a discussion about life, but not just life in general, life in Christ.  The conversation didn't start there, but rather on the topic of our words, being judged and acquitted by what we say.  This then lead to our heart motivations, judging others, or censoring others, and so much more.  It was quite the intense little conversation, but left me with a few thoughts that I thought I would share via blog form...

1.  I've come to this conclusion repeatedly...  Our lives need to be continually transformed from the inside out, and the best way to do this is to allow our minds to be transformed by the word of Christ, thus the importance of spending time with God in the word and not just in prayer etc.

2.  We need to remember that in all that we do we need to check our motivations and ensure that they are pure, not based on pride, jealousy, malice etc.

3.  No matter who we are or where we are, we are witnesses.  Our lives ought to witness the life of Christ, our lives should be lived as a reflection of Christ, our lives should be shared in order to share Christ, and we need to allow our lives to be used by Christ - that means releasing what deem important and our "need to do's", so that Christ can give us his "need to do's"!

There are a few other thoughts... one last one is more of a frustration...  How is it that my understanding of Christ and that of those people from that Church in Middle America be so different.  Why do they have so much hate in their doctrine, when my doctrine is more based on love?  How can our interpretations be so radically opposed?  Who is the blind one?  

That's it today... other than my continual saga of whether or not to go to camp for the summer and so on... but that's just a regular part of my life... so blah... hahah...