In so many ways I want to move back to the city and change some things in my life. What keeps me from going... work... stupid really. I worry about the interns and how it will affect them because I was working really hard to make the internship program at the camp better and now I'm giving it over to someone else and I don't even know who that someone is... Hiring...and recruitment... I have already had significant contact with staff for next summer and I don't want them to be forgotten... Past and future staff... counselors and the HCT... I'm afraid that if I do leave that I won't be back next summer and I really want to... but I don't really see how it is feasible...
So why do I want to move to the city? I love the city... I love all that it has to offer... I want to be able to have a day off and actually enjoy day off instead of having someone come find me to get to me do something when I would rather sit on my couch curl up and watch a movie.
I am frickin 28 and I really long for intimacy. I want that comfort, can you blame me? And Camp just does not foster the ability to have a healthy relationship... I don't care that people think you can "make it work"... camp is not the best place... it's like I'm in a relationship with camp in a way that makes very little room for anyone else. It asks you to miss weddings, birthdays, holidays, to work when you deserve a rest, never leaves you because you can't really leave it and expects you to do all of this with a positive attitude. Ridiculous!
I'm selfish... what can I say. I want more.
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1 comment:
ry this is a great idea...maybe i should look into the whole bogging thing again. i miss you so much! keep striving, struggling, and wrestling with God's will for you.
i love you friend.
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